This Valentine’s Day, 6 ways to love yourself more…

6 ways to love yourself more

Before you can share true love with a partner, you need to learn to love, accept and value yourself.

1. Take control of your critical ‘Inner Voice’. Your thoughts create your beliefs and your feelings. Whenever you catch yourself putting yourself down, telling yourself you are ‘not good enough’, or that you’ll fail, firmly command those thoughts to STOP! The more often you do this, the faster you will weaken your critical inner voice and take control of it, rather than allowing it to control you!

2. Start using positive affirmations. Replace your negative thoughts with positive affirmations such as:

  • I respect and value myself
  • I believe in myself
  • I take responsibility for the way I feel
  • I have what it takes to succeed 

State your affirmations in the present, rather than stating ‘I’m going to …..’ implying at some distant time in the future, and in positive language, focusing on how you want to be/feel instead of how you don’t want to. 

3. Forgive yourself and let go of the past  There’s no point living life looking through a rear view mirror. We can all look back with hindsight and see how we might have done things differently, but the past has gone. Instead of beating yourself up for making what you see as mistakes, be kind to yourself. Choose to learn from your past experiences, see them as useful lessons in life and use them to become stronger and wiser.

4. Learn to say No.  If you keep putting other people’s wants and needs above your own, think about the message you are giving to yourself. You are telling yourself that you are unimportant, that your wants and needs don’t matter. The fact is, you are, and they do, so start telling yourself this instead! Rather than immediately agreeing to do something that you know will have a detrimental effect on you, try saying I’ll need to check and get back to you, then give yourself time to prepare to calmly yet firmly say  ‘No’. 

5. Take responsibility for your own feelings. Blaming others for how you feel or what happens in your life is giving your power away. Taking responsibility for your feelings creates a sense of empowerment. If you have ‘buttons’ inside of you which are sometimes pressed, they are your buttons and it’s up to you to deal with them, then no-one can possibly press them! As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, ‘No-one can make you feel inadequate without your consent’.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others. If you search, you will always find people you think are more, or less, physically attractive, qualified, wealthy, successful. The fact is, no-one is better or worse than you. You are a unique and valuable individual, and just as no-one can make you feel inadequate, no-one can make you feel good about yourself, it has to come from within you.

By using the tips above you can start to change the way you think, feel, act and react, and learn to love yourself just the way you are, ‘warts and all’…!

About Toni Mackenzie

I help people to feel happy, confident, calm and relaxed by changing the way they think, using a powerful combination of Hypnotherapy, Psychotherapy, Counselling, Life Coaching, NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique). I'm a fully qualified and experienced Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist, Counsellor, EFT Practitioner, NLP Practitioner and Life Coach, based at my private practice in Altrincham, Cheshire, close to Manchester. I have fifteen year's experience of working with clients on a wide range of issues including stress, anxiety, lack of confidence, low self esteem, phobias, weight issues, improving sports performance, childbirth, and unwanted habits (smoking, drinking, gambling etc.), helping them to find happiness, peace of mind, and achieve their goals.

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